Mike interviews a LAFD Firefighter about recent events, specifically Covid-19, and how we can TOGETHER weather this storm.
College Kids vs the Virus
Mike Bearden is joined by four college students home on Spring Break and together they discuss their feelings and thoughts on how the Corona Virus is impacting their lives and the lives of their peers.
OpaZao Meets The Come Home Project
Mike talks with the founder of The Come Home Project John Commins on his journey in the Military, How it affected his marriage, and how he and his wife now help other military marriages through their organization TheComeHomeProject.org.
Thanks 2019
Mike is joined by his son-in-law Tate Cox to reflect on 2019 and how much they have to be thankful for. What are you thankful for in 2019?
Everything Changes
OpaZao guest Cody Spencer shares how he has overcome and continues to grow following the death of his father and all of his upcoming life choices after college.
The Need for Listening
“Listening is not
understanding the words of the question asked, listening is understanding why
the question was asked in the first place–” -Simon
Sinek
Listening has become a lost art.
Research on listening
indicates that we spend about 80% of our waking hours communicating: writing
9%, reading 16%, speaking 30% and 45 to 50 percent of our day engaged in
listening, to people, music, TV, radio, etc. About 75 percent of that time we
are forgetful, pre-occupied, or not paying attention. One of the factors
influencing this statistic is that the
average attention span for an adult in the United States is 22 seconds.
It’s no surprise to note the length of television commercials, usually anywhere
from 15 to 30 seconds. This constant change of focus makes it more difficult to
listen for any significant length of time. Immediately after we hear someone
speak, we remember about half of what they have said. A few hours later we
remember only about 10 to 20 percent. Yet, less than 5 percent of us have ever
concentrated on developing our skills in listening. When people hear these
numbers, they often say: ―This is so interesting. I know that I spend hours
preparing to speak. I don’t think I’ve ever consciously prepared to listen.
Prepare to listen
I’ve discovered the
importance about teaching people how to prepare to listen—to become a listening
presence. Many of us have had the experience of preparing to give a speech or
make a presentation. There are classes in public speaking available in almost
every community. We know where to go to learn how to refine and develop
presentation skills. For the most part we never even think about what it might
mean to prepare to listen—to become a true listening presence no matter what
the situation much less how to go about doing so. Two perspectives on listening
stand above the others.
Listening as an art
Listening is more than
hearing words and more than an action; it is an art. One of the common themes
of an art is the sense of being at one with it. Thinking about listening as an
art changes our perception of what it means to listen Rather than thinking of
listening as an act, something we ―do, we recognize it as an art, something
that we ―be, as a part of who we are, a way of being. We become a listening
presence.
Listening as a choice
We choose whether we
wish to listen. Most of the time, we are completely unaware that we are making
a choice. Learning that we have a choice to listen or to not listen is a very
powerful insight. We discover how much better we listen when we know that we
have chosen to listen, and how much less stress we have when we know that we
have consciously chosen not to listen.
FUN FACT: Less than 2% of people have had any
formal education in listening.
Yet, people spend around 70-80% of their day engaged in some form of communication, and nearly 50% of their time is devoted to listening.
Yet, people spend around 70-80% of their day engaged in some form of communication, and nearly 50% of their time is devoted to listening.
So, What I’m seeing
here is that there is a whole lot of empty listening going on. So, what do we
(I) do about this? I have been fortunate to begin surrounding myself with
individuals who have trained themselves in the art of listening. Together, this
is what we have discovered:
THERE IS A GREAT NEED
TO BE HEARD. Great Listeners can meet this need.
A GREAT LISTENER LISTENS by Knowing
the difference between hearing and listening, Avoiding the paralyzing
paradox of listening failure (hearing when you think you’re listening), and Sharing
a true intent to respond (which cultivates authentic and enduring
relationships).
A GREAT LISTENER will
pay close attention to their own well-being by increasing the following in
their daily life:
· Cultivating Silence
There is no listening
without silence. Listening to the silence, listening beyond words is also
called contemplative listening. It’s about taking time to be quiet and simply
be. Getting comfortable with silence is a practice that will transform your
capacity to listen.
· Desiring to Slow Down our Conversations &
Reflect
Reflective listening is
listening to yourself - your True Self -getting to know the voice of your soul.
Once we learn to know and trust this voice we find ourselves able to recognize
when we need to speak and when we need to listen.
· Listening in the Present
Deep listening occurs
at the heart level. It is present when we feel most connected to another person
or to a group of people. Our hearts expand and our capacity to communicate with
those of differing beliefs and customs increases.
I truly feel that LISTENING
is the cure for the emotional cancer that is increasingly crippling our society
and bringing us to our knees. Today we must rise together and thrive through
the Power of Listening.
Mike
Bearden
Lee, Dick. (2019, October). Listening:
Our Most Used Communications Skill. https://extension2.missouri.edu/cm150
Piombino, Kristin. (2013, Nov. 14). Listening Facts You Never Knew. https://www.prdaily.com/listening-facts-you-never-knew/
The Power of Next
We live in a time where fear, uncertainty, or doubt can dominate
our surroundings. This atmosphere seems to breed these and other emotions that
keep us from feeling anchored in life. If unsure economic times weren’t enough,
how about regular life challenges? The death of a loved one, birth of your
child, marriage, and divorce. Life is too exciting to remain stuck. Stuck is anything that keeps you
from moving forward. It keeps you from seeing what’s next. True progress cannot take place until one acknowledges when,
where, or why they became stuck. Only once we have taken an honest look at
ourselves can we can move ahead with our self-discovery and set a direction.
You can choose to give in to
every emotion and let it control you or you can “grab the reins” and use these
moments to contribute to your personal growth in a positive way. Yes, that’s
easier said than done, but that is what will create forward motion.
Where does one turn in times
like these? Do I just believe more in
myself? Do I purchase and read every book in the world on the topic of personal
growth or pay the perfect professional? While these choices can and do bring an
element of security and confidence in your next steps for each day, I truly
believe that a simple and balanced approach to life is the key to long-lasting
and decisive decisions that enable you to become who you are meant to be.
A good friend of mine lives
by the word “Thrive” and passes on this philosophy of living to others every
chance she gets. Thriving assumes that one is in the position to grow, move
ahead, get ahead, and prosper. I believe that Thriving in life can be the goal
to one day achieve as a lifestyle. Yet, in order to get there, you must often
get yourself out of the rut you find yourself in with each challenging season
of life. That’s where the need for NEXT comes into focus.
I’ll never forget my senior year in High School
when, during one of my varsity baseball games, I was pitching to a young man
named MASH. That’s right. His last name was MASH in all capitals on the back of
his jersey. His physical appearance made him look like he was on the “six-year
plan” for high school. I threw my best curve ball—and that’s when it happened.
I had never heard such a beautiful sound of a baseball coming in contact with a
baseball bat. It was one of those sounds where you knew that the ball was not
only hit as hard as a human could possibly hit it, but where I actually thought
I heard the ball itself scream “Ouch!” I could have been angry or upset, but I
had to just laugh. As MASH rounded first base, our eyes met. I gestured to him
with six fingers (suggesting that he was on the six-year plan) to which he
gestured back to me with only one finger. I’ll let you decide which finger he
used. I could have “responded” right then in another manner and “cleared the
dugouts.” (Our team was known for the occasional scuffle with other teams) But
I chose to just laugh. I made a choice right then to respond with the positive.
Fortunately, by my senior year, I had begun
establishing a positive response outlook on life. This baseball moment was one
of thousands of choices that I faced daily. Little did I know how important
this conscious and positive direction of the choices I made would become. Early
in my senior year of high school, I was blindsided with the news that my father
had been diagnosed with cancer. Here was yet another opportunity for me to
choose to respond positively and grow or give in to the daily challenges of
life.
Life threw me seasonal
curveballs and I chose to respond with what I now call “The Power of Next.” My
life has followed this thread of understanding in my marriage, my work, and in
every relationship I’ve had in each area of my life. Each day continues to
bring with it the opportunity to grow in the Power of Next.
The Power of Next focuses on
the never-ending challenge of bringing balance to an individual’s life
intellectually, physically, spiritually, and socially. Key principles behind
this balance are the “Element of Discovery” and the “Element of Direction”. It is
in Discovery that we find the Power we need to thrive in life, and it is in
Direction that we continue to discover the vital necessity of Next, thinking
forward and always living with purpose. Find your NEXT and begin living with
forward momentum with a positive purpose.
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