The Power of the Pause

“You’ve been given TWO ears and One mouth for a reason.” “Give yourself a time-out.” “All things in moderation.” “Hey, let’s take a break.” “Take Five.” “Wait a minute.” “Take a chillaxative.” OK, I made that last one up. But you get the point. These sayings and others have been distributed to generation after generation in the hopes that we might pause our lives long enough to gain perspective and perhaps even wisdom before moving forward in life decisions.

Today’s society seems to be so emotionally charged that people “react” prematurely and immaturely in their decision making much more than acting wisely. I would argue that the opposite of acting wisely is being a fool. Many generations ago, being called a fool was one of the greatest insults you could label a person. You might say that the word “fool” was the original four-letter “F” curse word. There was nothing positive about being labeled a fool. Fools are often a willing victim of deception. If a person has been successfully deceived by another, then that person is considered a fool. Deception is nothing but lying. Psychology Today defined it this way. Deception refers to the act—big or small, cruel or kind—of causing someone to believe something that is untrue. Unfortunately, this has become a huge cornerstone of our society today. Students lie on papers to advance their grade. Children lie to parents to get what they want. Business thrives on it for profit. And let’s not even go into politics. Or should we?

Deception has grown out of control in today’s world. Perhaps it has always been from the start. Yet, from my perspective, the toll it has taken in our world today is one we just cannot seem to rebound from. Another old saying is, “You have to tell another lie to cover up your previous lie.” And they just keep building upon one another until you are caught, lose your job, end a relationship, or just move on without really experiencing the depth of honest relational growth. We live in a world permeated with deception/lies. It’s no wonder that we often blindly accept the “word” of another as truth and allow them to guide our lives. Today, so many people choose to quickly “buy the lie” and not exercise patience before rushing to judgment and/or emotionally charged decisions that more often than not are ill-informed and extremely biased in nature. This type of communication is not only damaging but also benefits nobody.

I would like to introduce a new phrase, “There is Wisdom in Waiting.” Unfortunately, we live in a world that wants everything done, and they want it done yesterday. Yet I would challenge you to discover the Power of the PAUSE. I believe that instead of rushing to quick judgment of what often is deceptive communication from another, that you pause before opening your mouth, mind, and heart, and ultimately reacting emotionally with very little intellect behind your actions. The best way to begin defeating deception and discovering wisdom is to PAUSE before making inward and outward decisions, both verbal and non-verbal. My suggestion would be to take proportionate pause response time before moving forward with all decisions. In fact, I would recommend that the larger the decision, the longer the Pause that is needed before moving ahead. Now that is wisdom. There is great personal power when we take the time to breathe, relax, wait, and then respectfully respond to others before we rush to judgment and rob ourselves of the respect and maturity that comes with just a Pause.